imperfections.

growing up

these days, i find it more and more true and relevant that you find and understand yourself through others. learning from others’ experiences can make you grow up and realize tonnes of things you’ve never seen from the same perspective too. make sense; if not, life would never be long enough for us to learn everything.

• just understand that love can run out/dry/used up - thats why maintaining a relationship is harder than getting into one. this have never been clearer to me till now.

• space - never managed to grasp the concept abhinaw once advised me. i guess i can relate better to it now. you were right to tell me not to revolve my life around you, or rather, around our relationship. i can see so much more stuff going around me now. See more stuff and people who deserved more attention and care i have ever given them when we were together. Feel happier and lighter because i had once kept the unhappiness of our relationship at the edge of my mind and heart, and looking past all the other smaller things in life which would have made me happier, made US happier.

truly felt i have grown and changed- i would never have made the resolution of exercising if not for our breakup- i would never have the time for it. i would never have felt more fulfilling talks to my family & finding joy in helping out with household chores- because i have also kept our relationship and the unhappiness it sometime bring at the edge of my mind and heart, blinding me to the other happier things i could have done. am starting to question myself why some things have to be the way i want them to be, why outings need to go the way i plan and envision them to be- & telling myself to just let go and go with the flow. not everything have to be perfect or go according to the way i have planned in my head.

while its sad that things have to turn out the way they did for me to realise these life lessons, i hope you have learnt a few lessons too & most importantly, loving yourself for the life you’re leading now.